The Crush - Episode 10

It was the best relationship I could ever imagine. For the first time in my life I experienced a lust-free feeling.

Next day, she couldn’t be seen at the bus stop. Not even her shadow. Not even the soap-like aroma. The stench from the public urinal beside the bustop started dominating the bus-stop’s ambiance in her absence. That proves the power of her soap-like aroma. Everything looked gloomy. The world appeared to have switched from a Halogen bulb (normally used in weddings, especially receptions) to a zero-watt bulb (normally used in household latrines)

Help! Help! my heart was scanning around for a single indication of hers. I dont know which direction she comes from. I don’t even know where she stays. All I know is she comes to the bustop well before me. Though my bus arrived on time, I didnt board it that day. “Fruits of patience are sweeter” my inner sense whispered into my ears.

It’s been 75 mins since I heard the damn whisper. She didn’t show up yet. I don’t know her number, I don’t know her name. I don’t even know what her favourite tv-serial is. Is this what they call love?

I was upset, in a strange way. So, I took an auto to the office. I was very sad and simply staring at the rear-view mirror. I could see my face on it. Not knowing what to do, I gave a benevolent smile into the mirror. My face in the mirror smiled back at me. This gave me some degree of consolation.

It was a Saturday. Nine days have passed. I had some important work at workplace and I was waiting for the bus. I was still missing her. My feelings for her were still alive. My feelings for her were still lust-free. I was expressively down. Psychologically ridiculous. “Go to a psychologist and have it checked” my innersense advised me. I always respect my innersense. But not this time.

My heart said “Swami, all that’s happening is true. Voila! Go head!”
My mind said “ I doubt. They are pure hallucinations. Hence, a thumbs down from my side”

On my way back home it was raining heavily. I missed the direct bus and had to walk upto an intermediate bustop. None of the auto kaarans were willing to take to my place. Ha ha ha ha.. I laughed at myself. He he he he..I laughed at my horrible condition.

"Hello Bosssss How are you?". I heard a very familiar female voice behind me “Hehehee..heights of hallucination” I whispered to my innersense “What happened, why are you not responding to me” I heard the same familiar female voice again, but this time, coupled with an elephant-like jerk at my arms. There she is…

“Go ahead. Go ahead and say Hi” my heart said
“Hahaha.. you moron! It is pure hallucination..!” my mind said.

I listened to my eyes. She was indeed there. "Hi” I screamed, and continued in a low romantic voice, “How are you and where were you all these days? I was very worried about your whereabouts, you know?”

“Tchu..tchu..tchu..tchu...dont you remember I mentioned about my visit to my in-laws’ place and that I would see you only on Monday”

“mmmm..No. I don’t remember” I said with uncertainty, in the same low romantic voice. “You duffer..you teddy…you pumpkin..I told you but you might have forgotten. Since you don’t work on Saturday’s, I said I would be seeing you again on Monday. Understood?”

“Yeah..yeah…I think I remember…”

"You will not believe me if I say this. Though I was on a vacation, you were there with me all the time. I felt your presence all the time. I was enjoying your company. You are so good, I really like you. I love you so much" she let it slip….

YESS! YESS! YES! YES!

At that moment, I was floating on a cloud made up of ‘cheerfulness’. I was swimming in a virtual fluid called ‘happiness’. And the excited hands of ecstasy were molesting me left and right. Top to bottom. Front and back.

“I too love you but also hate you because you always speak about your married life” I wanted to say. But I didn’t have the courage.

Tears rolled down my cheeks. They were ‘tears of happiness’ (sandhosha kanneeru). I mustered courage, without my own knowledge. "After a very long time, someone said they love me truly. I am very happy today. I am very happy with you” I said with a gentlemanly disposition, in the same low romantic voice
She was also moved. Went senti. Tears rolled down her cheek. "Do you really feel comfortable with me" she enquired.

“Yes. I do. I feel very comfortable with you” I said quickly (without a pause) and was desperately holding my breath for her response.

"Why didnt you ask me about my brother or husband? About what they do. Where they are. You are so dumb. I just feel I am imposing this relationship on you. I always feel you just nod your head but never truly listen to me” (By this time, I already starting feeling that I ‘owned’ her. That she was mine. I already started giving secret glances at her gorgeous body, arms, neck, etc)

“Can you please look at my face while I am speaking to you?” she said in an irritated voice.